1. |
central parke circle
04:42
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do i still haunt your head?
god i hope i do
because youre the appirition in the corner of every room
and i still feel you like the cold in my bones
as i get older i realize im just better at being alone, than most
im just better at being alone.
october seventeen, a week from your birthday
seven days until halloween
and theres no place that i'd rather be
i dont want to do anything i think i'll crawl back into bed
life grows stale when you spend every single waking moment wishing you were dead
you were the reason the sun came up
i was the ghost that kept pulling the blinds shut
you were the gravity that made my world rotate
i was the reason that yours stood in place
its october seventeen, a week from your birthday
seven days until halloween
and theres no place that i'd rather be
i dont want to do anything i think i'll crawl back into bed
life grows stale when you spend every waking fucking moment
wishing that you were dead
you were the reason the sun came up (you lit the room)
i was the ghost that kept pulling the blinds shut
you were the gravity that made my world rotate (you pulled me in)
i was the reason that yours stood in place
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2. |
inadvertently
03:55
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a shadow in the dark
a fly on the wall
no we were never friends according to your better friends
you'd been there before
we handed you the reins
you left us lost like a stray
shovel in hand unloading all those insecurities
and you buried me beneath the weight
but i'll be just fine i'll dig myself out i swear
but i'll never trust another word that you say
it must be easy to hide behind all your smoke and mirrors
all the excuses you spew wont make the air any clearer
you spent every sunday praying that i might change
you should get introspective instead of staying the same
you never took responsibility for anything
now you pass me by the way you pass the blame
you traded in your overcast skies for dance lights
you should have thought first its so much easier to see your cracks and flaws under flourescents
you never took responsibility for anything
youre just a scared little kid
you traded in your overcast skies for dance lights
do you blame your ego or your id?
you should have thought first, you should have shot first
now everyone knows what you did
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3. |
brown recluse
03:34
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it feels like the rain slipped right through the shingles again
and everything ive ever cared about is warped and wet
i dont recognize a single photo on the wall
maybe i never really knew myself at all
its hard to see the bigger picture when youre so stuck inside your head
you know youre right i should get out more, but i feel glued to this bed
become a recluse, yeah i dont see the sun that often
youre too late to save me
turn this water logged home into my coffin and just let me go
just let me go
do you think you remember who i used to be?
and do you think you could remind me?
but im probably too far gone too
do you think you could remind me?
sink down to my level and maybe then we can have that hard conversation
and all those fifteen minute pep talks to myself in the mirror every single morning
its an hour without warning
and all those breathing excercises that you taught me
well now they just exhuast me and i end up standing still
its hard to see the bigger picture when youre so stuck inside your head
you know youre right i should get out more but i feel glued to this bed
you were right, i could never let you in
i feel like a captive in my own bones
a prisoner in my own skin
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4. |
644 paper cranes
04:10
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if i keep chipping away at the pieces of me that i hate
im going to slip right through the cracks in the floorboards
if i keep chipping away at the pieces of me that i hate
im going to slip right through the cracks in the floorboards
keep undercutting myself, cutting myself down to size
ill never measure up to who i want to be
i can feel the wind on my back, the cold beneath my feet
they're begging me to run
ive been a coward my whole life
i think its time i stood my ground for once
i could shake this bad habit in twenty seven days
but i probably wont, i'd rather run
ive folded so many paper wings- over half way there
my bodys frail and my hands are weak- i feel like collapsing
shaking from caffiene and lack of sleep - im over half way
time is slipping away from me - and ive accomplished nothing
i can see the finish line - im over half way there
i can see the finish line - i think my will is breaking
is this a nightmare
please somebody wake me
if i keep chipping away im going to slip away
if i keep chipping away at the pieces of me that i hate
im going to slip right through the cracks in the floorboards
undercutting myself, cutting myself down to size
ill never measure up to who i need to be
i can feel the wind on my back, the cold beneath my feet
they're begging me to run
ive been a coward my whole life
i think its time i stood my ground for once
i could break this bad habit in twenty seven days
but i know i wont, i'd rather run
so close never felt so far away
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5. |
when i drive
03:55
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i havent been sober, im going through hell
you never said a god damn word, you couldnt tell
you were right about me, i hide it so well
i stopped wearing my seatbelt when i drive, and im praying for an accident
im praying for an accident
keep on praying for an accident
and i could be like tristan
and i could become christian
but im afraid they would see right through my facade
another man who's never seen god in anything
a poor unfortunate soul using these vices to fill the void
and make myself feel whole again
a desperate twenty something in the middle of a mid-life crisis
whats the point to life like this? there isnt one.
so just let it go
i stopped wearing my seatbelt when i drive
and now im praying for an accident
im praying for an accident
keep on praying for an accident
im praying for an accident
and i could be like tristan
and i could become christian
but im afraid they would see right through my facade
another man who's never felt god in anything
and i dont think that you'll ever know what its like
to want to steer your car into oncoming traffic every morning at eight a.m.
and i hope to god you never know, what its like
to lay in bed each night and wish you had
i wish i had.
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6. |
josephine
02:37
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from as sharp as a tack to as dull as the lamp lights on my street
from as bright as the sun to as dead as a doornail
watching you fade is the most pain i think ive ever felt
im too scared to see you
im standing outside your door i just cant walk in
outside your doorway but im too scared to move inside
and when i do
ill talk and youll just sit and stare like im a stranger to you
i still dont believe in heaven but i hope you made it through
i still cant visit your grave
i still struggle speaking your name
i left a rose on your casket upside down
i still cant shake the feeling
years later and im not healing
did you know it was me or did i waste our time?
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7. |
pine
05:17
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theres a knot in my chest, im getting kind of used to it
so put a nail in my head and drain out all the sentiment
carve your initials in me like that lone tree in the woods
its pretty obvious i hate it here
id sell my soul to the devil and uproot if i could
split away from the grain
pull my roots from the earth
i just need to feel some kind of safe
i want this to hurt
burn me down, burn me out
you left me feeling heated
cut me out, cut me off
im desperate and in need of
take it back, build me back
with a new frame
you say that i look myself, but i dont feel the same
you say that im still myself, but i dont feel the same
yeah i still pine for you, you probably already knew
and ive been scattering the needles to be less abrasive
and we've been swallowing the poison that all this waters been laced with
you made me change when i didnt want to
just like the seasons do
ive been shedding my skin
to try to look like the others
ive been breaking my limbs
ive been so many colors
burn me down, burn me out
you left me feeling heated
cut me out, cut me off
im desperate and in need of
build me back, build me back
with a new frame
you say that i look myself, but i dont feel the same
you say that im still myself, but i dont feel the same
if natures hardest hue to hold is gold then i was an evergreen
you filled my life like a kaleidoscope and i shed everything
you said the words were sure you meant them, but do you know what they mean?
just decompress
you say that i look myself
you say that i look myself but i dont feel the same
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8. |
bug séance
03:44
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the insect in your kill jar
pull me out quick before i go stiff and you have to tear my limbs off
to twist me up the way you want
encircle me with torn off wings and summon all those evil things
have you been trying to forget?
light the candles and join hands
just speak the words i know you know
whisper to you in chirps of crickets
the only language we both spoke
i can hear your voice in my head
this is hell. is this your hell?
parasite inside my blood stream
is this your hell? is this your hell?
repeating everything that you said
is this your hell? is this your hell?
parasite inside my bloodstream
is this your hell? is this it. thats your hell
the weight of your words still wont get me
the weight of your words still cant get me
stretch me out across your board
pin back the flaws that might embarrass you or not
buried alive again but you wont smother me
have you been trying to forget?
i can hear your voice in my head
this is hell. is this your hell?
parasite inside my bloodstream
is this your hell? is this your hell?
hollowed out / an empty house
an exo / burnt down
skeleton
lie through my teeth about my life now
could you tell? can you tell?
the weight of your words still wont get me
the weight of your words still cant get to me
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9. |
levitate
04:23
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teach me to levitate
teach me to levitate
i want to stand on air
teach me to levitate
control my breathing
teach me to levitate
i want to know what its like
teach me to levitate
dont overthink it
ive been drowning in bathtubs
been breathing in smoke
ive been swallowing water
always praying to choke
because that whole world was a nightmare
that old life was a joke
was sick with apprehension
i needed you to know
altissima
ive been building perfection, pulled it apart in my brain
divided it into sections, i know its hard to explain
i just need you to see things for the way that they are
like all the times that i moved too deep and left a permanent scar
teach me to levitate
ive been drowning in bathtubs
been breathing in smoke
ive been swallowing water
always praying to choke
because that whole world was a nightmare
that old life was a joke
was sick with apprehension
i needed you the most
ive traveled my whole life searching for the exit
i still cant find it
it took twenty eight years to realize
we all get sad sometimes
teach me to levitate
i want to stand on air
teach me to levitate
control my breathing
teach me to levitate
i need to know what its like
teach me to levitate
dont overthink it
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10. |
houdini
03:20
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can i be your houdini?
i want to disappear
cutting my teeth in the backroom, practicing in the mirror.
then i'll go up in smoke dissipate.
the air will finally be clear
bury me in the front yard
illusion of the year
theres no turn to turn
it's just sleight of hand
and i'll never learn
you'll never understand
wash away all my portraits
in our homes front room
the smell of paint thinner and your perfume
wash away all my portraits
your better off if i make my exit
youll never hear from me again
hold your breath until your lungs hurt
ill leave little clues, i know youll never find
inside your favorite book, between your favorite lines
In that old picture frame, neatly tucked behind
that old photograph of the boy with the fake smile
theres no page to turn
theres no extra lines
and i'll never learn
solace youll never find
wash away all my portraits
in our homes front room
it smells of paint thinner and your perfume
wash away all my portraits
your better off if i just dont exist
youll never hear from me again
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11. |
retracing steps
02:58
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holes in our shoes wore through our souls
retracing my steps will never fill those
and we cant rewind time in the same way
like we do those home videos - those memories
we let them go
im too scared to blink
it goes by so fast
i should have been present i spent ten years in the past
and now i dont sleep much
im trying to get it back
making a detailed list of all the things i lack
it's not that bad
we burned those old tapes and broke our VCRs
self medicate and drink to cover up the marks
cant rewind the years even though id like to
try to mend what we broke and make do
i know its not really that bad
but i still make it out to be
you say its not always that bad
but i dont believe you
i guess its not really that bad
im trying to move forward
because i know its not really that bad
so we threw out those shoes and we sold our souls
retracing my steps will never replace those
i know i can never get that time back here
i can move on or waste another 10 years.
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winterforever Boise, Idaho
winterforever is a post-hardcore band from Boise, Idaho
jess
max
chris
cc
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